my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
