I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
