I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
