kristin has been a bad kristin
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
