just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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