ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
