you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
