Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
