So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
