I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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