): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
