i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Boobs speak an international language.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
