i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I love you. Go after that dick
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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