you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
