if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
