Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
