So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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