So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Randomize
