the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
