Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
