Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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