Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
