U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
