Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
