matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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