Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
