I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
