I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
