You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize