Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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