I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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