I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
