at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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