I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I smell stomach acid.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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