Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
