I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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