apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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