I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
