If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
