I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
