Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
