you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
