Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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