FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
