So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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