The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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