pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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