ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
