Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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