I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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