Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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