I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
