I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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