If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
