Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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