guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
